Hard cider, drink it at a stop light I wanna own the night just like the rich kids do I’m craving fun Don’t wanna be the one who hides, afraid to go cut loose The streets clear of college kids drunk on cheap beer I wish I was them But that won’t come true.

I see the sun hit the houses on the hilltops But it’s still dark where I’m walking to Spent too many nights sleeping in my car Might not get far but I’ll get through Hard cider, drink it at a stop light I wanna own this night just like the rich kids do Can’t beat the line so we take our time And we slip away up to the roof Sit under lights from bars And we pretend they’re stars But I won’t make a wish—No I’ll wish on you I see a cutie working at the dollar store They seem real high & I wanna get stoned We both ditch working for the afternoon I get high then low but hey I’m not alone Can’t stand the sun because it’s too bright I wanna own the night just like the rich kids do I’m craving fun, don’t wanna be the one Who hides, too afraid to go cut loose The streets clear Of college kids drunk on cheap beer I wish I was them but it won’t come true

We, we smoke stems And we had all the time in the world to be wild & free & We’re full blown femmes And we know how to gab with girls while shaking off the police Do both simultaneously Religious feminology I bat my eyes And then I blink and miss a day, a week, or I don’t know Pour me more wine Today’s the kind of day that makes me hate tomorrow Such frequent sorrow Beg, steal, and borrow I’m gonna call you when I’ve made it I’m gonna let you kiss me at the door Last year my heart was freaky faded This year I’m stronger than I’ve ever been before Now help me wipe the blood off the floor We’ll live in synchronicity Embrace our eccentricities

This little strip full of prodigal shops Tear down the mall build another on top Buses of college kids Boozed up & with dough to spend 50 year family shops turning into vapor dens How do you know when the future’s arrived? When they take our doctors how will we survive? Anger ball—strangle it Buy a drone and bury it How heavy’s the load and how long must we carry it? Sober but anxious to prep for the storm Cops closed that place where the queer kids perform Rent goes up, isolate Neighborhood dissociate Brace yourself look to the clouds for the sun to break Angel of internet, Google is God They bought a whole neighborhood for a song Own the news, stoke the hate Create the jobs then automate Pray to the grocer who sold us the bread we ate I’ll move to Florida, take life as it goes Vote in a swing state, and quit playing shows Fall asleep on the beach Love the moon and hate the heat Call all my reps twice a week not to murder me Maybe someday when our tide finally comes We’ll be so strong we don’t mess nothin’ up Check the mirror just in case Force yourself to love your face Plastic bags under your eyes start to be replaced

So say what you want if you really got a thought that you’re offering Don’t say I’m your everything Don’t lie like its anything And if you’re in a dark spot and your heart is red hot full and fluttering Don’t say I’m your everything Don’t lie like its anything It’s cold, cold, cold water: no more daughters no more sons I could be your martyr or so could all the other ones Oh… Do you wanna cross the ocean with me? Do you wanna shake and shiver out at sea? Do you wanna be a drunken sunken twenty-something? You took my hand and then you swept me away Got me baked and then TF’d me into prey Can’t say that I am terrified of anything Throw out your old self, pray for good health (not for some) Cast off your demons, we’re all screaming atoms Do you wanna cross the ocean with me? Do you wanna give yourself away for free? Do you wanna be a drunken sunken twenty-something? You took my hand and then you swept me away Lay me down beneath the sand where I’ll decay Can’t say that I am terrified of anything I’ll just say that I am terrified of losing you

There’s a broken limo in the parking lot And there’s dents and rust and the holes say its been shot And with the way the neon sunshine fades the view You’d think this place closed in 1982 And if I ever get out of Florida, I’m coming back for you There’s a swamp reclaiming all our stolen land It’s making its way for our Wifi and the van No dust settles, no new flowers grow This pretty pink hotel has got to close And If I ever get out of Florida, I’m going home And no one smiles at the Cuban restaurant When I hold your hand, we get weird looks I hope we’re the last fags these old fuckers’ll ever see As they sink into their bogged tombs alone There’s a place on the beach with eight dollar bud lite limes I drain my bank account as I hope to die And when I’m good and drunk I hit the sand Some fountain of youth, some promised land And if I ever get out of Florida sunburnt and tanned I’ll carry you home if I can still stand

When my baby went to work today I pretended that she left me for good I don’t even know why I did it I just wanted to feel that loss To know if I could take it ‘Cause no matter how good it’s going I know that inevitably Invariably And ineffably I will fuck this up I jilled off, took my girl pills and just sat in the car watching the birds They’re coming or they’re going, I don’t know I never kept good track of time I just sat there and daydreamed for a while, wishing that was me, flying somewhere With a purpose No, an instinct Not something pure but just Something I could understand I’d be drummin’ on the trees Buzzing’ with the bees Eatin’ sap Not the crap that I’ve come to need I would never speak a word Sing & then be heard Not a tweet Just a beak Just another bird—my familiar I drove to our diner and sat at our booth and it felt empty without her The waitress comes over and she asks “oh where’s your little girlfriend I always love seeing you two” I feel dirty—damaged—no I feel naughty Eating a fucking cheeseburger at 9 am all alone Is this what it’ll feel like when things finally go south for us? A plane passes overhead & it startles the birds I watch them fly away I just watch them fly away My baby comes home and i tell her oh god i missed you and she says “i missed you too bug” She asks if i’m okay I tell her maybe it’s the weather, maybe it’s these hormones but I’m not quite feeling like myself

The fire alarm turned out to be a mighty good thing You found me bound for harm inside the stairwell waiting Waiting You picked me up, you said "you wanna get some breakfast?" I told you over waffles that I was waiting Waiting  For my heart  to stop beating. I don't manic pixie dream and I don't think it's no ones job to save me But sometimes you just have some breakfast Sometimes going out's a form of bravery Oh when my heart stops beating Will I cry or lean in to die? Somehow the world keeps turning Where's my fire burning inside?

Broke ev’ry glass that I had last night Wanted to pass but I can’t get it right Wanted to cry but I just couldn’t care Broke down and wrote down a text of despair And there’s gotta be some good change in the air Can’t take excuses that reframe your mess (To tell you the truth, I’ve been ghosted for less) So now I’m just walking the other direction I can’t live with folx who stockholm their affection & I just want a place I can make a connection! Now everyone is scared You’re my only one whose there My newsfeed’s constant fuzz And spiro fucked my buzz And no one wants us to be seen Not been sober since 19 So we’ll call, call, call some more Our bed’s now on the floor Just one big break tonight It just might save our life And as we face this world alone I’ll always drive you home

let me move in close and see the wound u can’t fix this all one afternoon just let go we’ll take it slow & split our roles to help us grow maybe we can learn a thing or two u and me we can be anything if we believe make a wish have a dream all i ask is cover me it’s working now love the way u furrow up yr brow we’re getting strong in different ways its hard existing ev’ry day can u hold the front, i’m passing out when we get out of this storm we’ll have reached out final forms and we’ll make it cuz

It’s cold, cold, cold water: no more daughters no more sons I could be your martyr or so could all the other ones Oh… Do you wanna cross the ocean with me? Do you wanna shake and shiver out at sea? Do you wanna be a drunken sunken twenty-something? You took my hand and then you swept me away Got me baked and then TF’d me into prey Can’t say that I am terrified of anything Throw out your old self, pray for good health (not for some) Cast off your demons, we’re all screaming atoms Do you wanna cross the ocean with me? Do you wanna give yourself away for free? Do you wanna be a drunken sunken twenty-something? You took my hand and then you swept me away Lay me down beneath the sand where I’ll decay Can’t say that I am terrified of anything I’ll just say that I am terrified of losing you

Right now i feel like my skins on fire Like i radiate a glow That there’s no sense in taking me higher I know I’m a liability & if you try to rep me You’ll be cursed with nonstop drama Maybe its the mental health days Or the queer tirades Or the ways that I pull from trauma So just listen instead ‘Cause the queer arts better once the loud girl’s dead do u wanna see me cry after the show
do u wanna see the way my friendships go
just know that i am terrified...usually
    
now i havent left the house in 7 days now i got my friends DMing “U ok?”
Can’t even find an answer we agree to speak Do u wanna see my cry after the show Do u wanna feel my heatspace glow & grow Just know that i’m too terrified to keep receipts now i havent left the house in 20 days now our world is getting hotter & i pray
i dont wanna b the burden that breaks u from me My family wants to think their child died That I'm an infanticidal Freak of nature That I ain't sure That I been brain washed Got lost Osh Kosh B'GOD DAMN I've just grown a little bit Tried on a new life Now the old one doesn't fit Cut out fake friends Who kept posting old pics Work place break downs I prob'ly shoulda quit A headspace playground “YR IT, YR IT!” Yr at the altar God calls u on yr shit So u grab onto the shards & u start to split Then I became the alter personality When ev'rything went black on me Now I don't front or hang around & If I seem distant Count the minutes Count the months Since u shoulda said the god damn pronouns    do u wanna see me cry after the show
do u wanna see the way my friendships go
just know that i am terrified...usually 
    
now i havent left the house in 7 days now i got my friends DMing “U ok?”
Can’t really find an answer we agree to speak Do u wanna see my cry after the show Do u wanna feel my heatspace glow & grow Just know that i’m too terrified to keep receipts now i havent left the house in 20 days now i think i feel the ending & i pray i dont wanna b the burden that breaks u from me

God might be watching so act your best And if they’re not then we can’t rest I’m drinking right from the tap Even though its bad Real superstars? They do it together No matter where you are you can do it together Fight for the changes and fight through the weather Don’t be a stranger, let’s do it together Remember our fallout? Time sure flies I wrote a callout but then thought twice I wake up to birds at night With all of their might They still sing without light We might be nothing But I think we’re something